The Thanks that Keeps on Giving

A feast for found family in PA.

This holiday season really crept up on me. I really thought I had more time. More time to plan, to prep, to create another magical season. Time to feel ready. But life moves, and suddenly the day was here.

This year for , my fifteen-year-old asked for something simple. He wanted our friends to cook Thanksgiving dinner. And they did. A full spread, deep-fried turkey, all the fixings. Right before we ate, my five-year-old niece reminded us that we had to go around and say what we were thankful for. Everyone listed the usual blessings. Family. Friends. Chosen family. Food. Community. Love. I sat there trying to land on one thing, and all I could manage was a clumsy little explanation about being grateful that no matter what problem shows up, as a person or as a family, we always find a way through. There is always a solution. We live to try again.

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But I had already been thinking about gratitude long before that moment. When I won tickets to MOMS (Moms on Moms Storytelling), https://www.instagram.com/momswestchester/

I walked into a room full of women speaking their truth. Five minutes of uninterrupted honesty. When you check in, you place on a message board what you were thankful for. On my sticky note, without hesitation, I wrote that I was thankful for another chance to try again.

Because the truth is, I have lived through a lot. I have missed milestones, made choices I regret, and faced moments that could have turned out differently.

I left college without fulfilling my academic potential. I got pregnant young. I missed the chance to buy a house for five thousand dollars. I worked countless unfulfilling jobs. I parented without a map. I didn’t save or invest the way I should have. The version of the woman I thought I’d be never fully arrived. My kids saw a tired, overwhelmed, unorganized version of me trying to keep it together with faith and scraps of hope. No big house, no vacations, no sports. And if I’m being honest, it feels like the childhood I had was better than the one I managed to give them.

And I allowed all of it to happen. I lived it. I carried it. I learned from it.

Here is the part I am holding close to my heart: With all the mistakes, all the choices, all the things I didn’t create or didn’t know how to fix, I am still thankful.

Thankful for the chance to try again. To change. To realign. To dream. To reconfigure. To reassess.

Paint Party Girl in the Moonlight by Erica Soto

To become who I was always meant to be, even if I am getting there later than I planned.

Because wisdom doesn’t only come from winning. It grows in the messy years. It grows in the moments we wish we could redo. It grows quietly while we are surviving things we never talk about out loud.

And hope is patient. It waits for us to catch up. It whispers instead of shouting.

You get another chance.

Start now.

And I finally believe that I can.

Enjoy!

-Erica